Lenann McGookey Gardner

Stop the “WE”!

As a Sales Coach, I am often asked to critique proposals. It’s amazing how many proposals are loaded with the word “we”! “We are pleased to offer (this)…” “We are prepared to (that)…” ”We believe (the other thing)…”
 
THE ONLY PROPER USE OF THE WORD “WE” IN A PROPOSAL – OR ANY TIME YOU ARE SELLING – IS WHEN YOU USE THE WORD “WE” TO MEAN “YOU AND ME, MR./MS. PROSPECT”!
 
When you use “we” to mean “me and all the people at my company”, you are setting your prospect up as an outsider, and that isn’t good. If he hires you or buys from you, I hope you plan to support him in his purchase – not leave him to fend for himself, struggling to take whatever it is you have and fit it to his specific situation. To avoid giving this impression, it’s important that you write in “you” terms, not “we” terms, to make a proposal come alive for your prospect. 
 
In fact, just get rid of lists of “features and benefits” altogether, and instead write about your prospect’s pain and how you and she will approach fixing (or at least lessening) it. That’s a much more productive approach to proposal writing and all your selling efforts!